Well, if I tell the truth, I’ve yet to overcome writers doubt. It’s like playing Whac-A-Mole. Slaying this particular demon is a constant battle. Doubt slips in when I’m tired, frustrated, aggravated, hungry, sleepy, oh, never mind the list is too long. You understand; any excuse works in a storm of procrastination.
Believe me, there are lots of excuses. For instance, Doubt reminds me time and again, I’m old. As my husband, an obsessive golfer might say I’m on the back nine of life. To dream big at my age is plain nuts. Plus, the fast paced tech world is brutal and ever changing.
At this point, should’ve, would’ve, and could’ve join the choir and sing along reminding me of things I don’t know and all I’ve forgotten. I’m out of touch, out of sync, not twittering enough, and who in their right mind wants to read anything I might write. The weather’s too cold, or it’s too hot. The laundry is piling up, and the house is dirty. See lots of excuses. I’m glad the Queen’s not coming this week.
Some days I’m a writer working on a novel, some days I’m a writer working on a blog, other days I’m busy writing short stories or flash fiction. The rest of my days I spend picking apart my writing. With all the rewrites and editing I often feel like Sisyphus, and each chapter an immense boulder that must be pushed up a hill.
I refuse to let Doubt rule. I work every day at pushing him and his cronies back into the dark hole where they belong. I reach out for encouragement wherever I can find it, from my husband, daughters, granddaughters, sisters, and critique partners. Their support is like sunshine that brightens the dark days. When the rejections pile up they remind me I’m a remarkable writer and lie saying the judges are not. They celebrate my every success no matter how small, and never point out the size of the prize or the lack of one.
To write, and create gives meaning to my life. One word at a time pushes back the doubts and fears. With a little help from my family and friends, I overcome Writers Doubt one day at a time.
Oh, one more thing. A little red wine and chocolate help too.